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Morning, sir! I’d like to have an argument, please.” “No you wouldn’t.” “Yes I would!” Welcome to the Argument Clinic, where contradictions are complimentary. Across the street, the Dead Parrot lies stiffly in its cage—nailed there, mind you. “It’s not dead, it’s resting!” insists the shopkeeper, despite overwhelming evidence of ex-parrothood. Meanwhile, at the Ministry […]
And now for something completely different: a man with a tape recorder up his nose. Mr. Gumby will now attempt brain surgery, armed only with a raw turnip and a deeply concerning sense of confidence. Meanwhile, over in the Cheese Shop, Mr. Wensleydale explains that they are, in fact, entirely out of cheese. ‘Not even […]
Welcome to the Ministry of Silly Walks. Please proceed in a thoroughly inefficient zig-zag. Today’s schedule includes the Fish-Slapping Dance, a discussion on the weight of swallows, and a visit to Mr. Praline regarding his dead parrot. This parrot is no more! It has ceased to be! It has gone to meet its maker! Meanwhile, […]
The Black Knight appears, silent and stern, like a discount security guard in medieval cosplay. Sir Arthur offers parley—slash!—an arm gone. “Tis but a scratch.” A second blow—another limb airborne. “I’ve had worse.” Arthur stares in disbelief as the Knight, now limbless, wriggles furiously on the forest floor, threatening vengeance with nothing but teeth and […]
“Stand aside, thou knave!” cries Arthur. But the Black Knight speaks only one phrase: “None shall pass.” A clash of steel, a heroic blow—schlick! “You’ve no arms left!” “Yes I have.” “Look!” “Just a flesh wound.” The duel continues despite anatomical setbacks. “I’ve had worse,” he growls, blood gushing like a Monty Python fountain. One […]
“None shall pass!” declared the Black Knight, guarding his humble forest path as though it were the gates of Camelot. A sword strike! An arm flies! “It’s just a flesh wound,” he insists, red spurting, pride unshaken. Sir Arthur, baffled, offers peace. “I’ll call it a draw.” But the Black Knight is not done. “Oh, […]